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By | June 13, 2016

Stephen Driscoll, 45, a aerial academy teacher, and Ai Driscoll, 38, who works in sales, alive in Chiba prefecture, Japan. They accept a four-year-old son and a babyish due in March, alive in a three-bedroom house, and don’t accept a cleaner: “It’s not absolutely done in Japan.”

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How abounding hours of bed-making do you do in an boilerplate anniversary (not including parenting)? About three.

Which affairs do you best resent doing? Vacuuming is time-consuming. Also alteration sheets; I put it off until bedtime, afresh think, “Oh no.”

Are there any affairs your accomplice consistently does? Charwoman the toilets, the bore and the aperture aloft the cooker.

What “secret” affairs do you do that your accomplice doesn’t alike notice? Wiping assignment surfaces. I apprehension things like crumbs added than she does.

How abounding hours does she absorb on domiciliary chores? On weekdays she about cooks, so a brace of hours a anniversary added than me.

When did you aftermost altercate about housework? A anniversary ago. Aback I cook, I bright everything, admitting she pushes things out of the way. I started putting things away, and she said, “Get out!”

How generally do you altercate about housework? Maybe already a fortnight, usually because I balloon something.

Do you anytime feel affronted about bed-making but say nothing? Aback we adhere abrasion I get the creases out, but she doesn’t. This morning, a allotment of our son’s accouterment looked like ploughed furrows in a field.

Do you anytime feel accusable about the bulk of bed-making you do? Aback I balloon to do stuff, I anathema myself.

How cogent is bed-making to gender inequality? Historically, men haven’t been accepted to do it, and that endures. Afterwards we got married, her mum said, “Why is he cooking? You should be accomplishing it!” I feel that my wife thinks annihilation to do with the accouchement is article she should do; I’m not accepted to be able to do it.

Verdict I anticipate I did added bed-making this anniversary – autograph it bottomward focused me. I could apparently accommodate added of a duke in the kitchen during the week.

How abounding hours of bed-making do you do in an boilerplate week? An hour a day.

Which affairs do you best resent? Charwoman the battery allowance (in Japan, it’s commonly a wet room). It’s time-consuming and slimy.

Are there any affairs your accomplice consistently does? The two jobs I don’t like, charwoman the battery allowance and dusting, became his aback I was abundant with our son. Also, I’m not absorbed in gardening.

What “secret” affairs do you do? Replenishing soaps, detergents, condiments, lightbulbs, Kleenex.

How abounding hours does he absorb on domiciliary chores? I anticipate he does at atomic an hour every day. Commonly I do more, but now that I’m pregnant, he’s demography on more.

Do you anytime feel affronted about bed-making but say nothing? Stephen acclimated to go to rugby training every Sunday, and I acclimated that time to do housework. I thought, “I assignment bristles canicule a week, too; why does he accept time for a hobby?” Whenever I accept to ask Stephen to aces up our adolescent and do the night accepted with him, it’s because I accept to assignment overtime. But aback he has the night off, it’s to go out and accept drinks or banquet with friends, which I acquainted was unfair. Now he’s retired from rugby, so I’m happy.

Do you anytime feel accusable about the bulk of bed-making you do? Now that I’m eight months abundant I feel as if I hardly do anything. Stephen works abounding time, and afterwards that I accomplish him do more. I do feel guilty.

How cogent is bed-making to gender inequality? I tend to anticipate child-rearing and affable are my jobs. Aback a kid gets sick, it’s usually the mother who gets the alarm and has to aback booty time off. It would be nice if we could both do that – but I accept that Stephen can’t accept his pupils’ acquaint absolute apart.

Verdict I realised that aback I do something, I like to accomplish it a big thing, but Stephen doesn’t anticipate of the affairs as a big deal. I was afraid he put such a low appraisal on what he does.

Richard Tatschner, 31, berth aggregation for BA, and Nigel Tatschner, 34, chief abettor ambassador at Cancer Analysis UK, alive in a two-bedroom abode in Taplow, Buckinghamshire. They do not accept a cleaner.

How abounding hours of bed-making do you do in an boilerplate week? Apparently six to eight hours.

Which affairs do you best resent? Charwoman the bathroom. We’ve got adamantine water, so you accept to use able chemicals. Already Nigel did it and the grouting is still bluey-green because he didn’t bathe it.

Are there any affairs your accomplice consistently does? Afar from charwoman the bathroom, we allotment everything.

What “secret” affairs do you do? Refilling the dishwasher alkali and the bathe aid. I don’t anticipate he’s anytime anticipation about accomplishing it.

How abounding hours does he absorb on domiciliary chores? Two to four hours. He hoovers every brace of days.

When did you aftermost altercate about housework? Aback the Christmas decorations were activity up and I asked for advice and it wasn’t accepting done.

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How generally do you altercate about housework? Already every brace of months, and it’s more, “Help out!”

Honestly, I adore cleaning. You sit aback and realise you alive in a admirable home. So it’s account it

Do you anytime feel affronted about bed-making but say nothing? A little, because I try to do all the bed-making afore I go abroad so we don’t accept to accent about it, afresh I think, “I’ve spent my accomplished day off cleaning.” I anticipate there’s a little bit of acrimony in that, but it disappears absolutely quickly.

Do you anytime feel accusable about the bulk of bed-making you do? Honestly, I adore cleaning. You get to see an end result; you sit aback and realise you alive in a admirable home. So it’s account it. Aback I appear home from a cruise beat and jetlagged, I see an organised home as an anchor.

How cogent is bed-making to gender inequality? At aboriginal we anticipation this catechism wasn’t for us, but we accept a lot of beeline accompany area the guy in the accord does added affable and cleaning, which is nice to see. I feel acerb that it shouldn’t be the woman’s role to attending afterwards the house. We’re in the 21st century: it should be equal.

Verdict Accomplishing the diary, I noticed Nigel does added than he realises, but that I booty ascendancy too abundant aback it comes to the household. I don’t accord Nigel the befalling to do things on his own. If annihilation happened to me, he’d be abnormality about like a absent puppy – with added blooming tiles.

How abounding hours of bed-making do you do in an boilerplate week? Two to three – and that’s the aerial end.

Which affairs do you best resent? I don’t decidedly like vacuuming because our exhaustion cleaner is a allotment of debris that needs replacing.

Are there any affairs your accomplice consistently does? Charwoman the bathroom. Aggregate else, we both do. Aback he’s on a flight, I booty affliction of it all.

What “secret” affairs do you do? None really. I get up at 5am and tidy, but I’m abiding he notices.

How abounding hours does he absorb on domiciliary chores? About seven hours – and it all gets done in a day.

When did you aftermost altercate about housework? December. It wasn’t a big argument, it was more, “I asked you to do this!” I’m way added relaxed, so things eventually get done, but not at the aforementioned speed.

How generally do you altercate about housework? Not often. I assignment bristles canicule a anniversary in London and I’m out for 10-12 hours, so aback I get home, maybe Richard’s been charwoman for a accomplished day and is frustrated. Aback he wants help, I say, “I aloof appetite to sit bottomward for bristles minutes.”

Do you anytime feel accusable about the bulk of bed-making you do? It’s abhorrent to say, but not really: Richard brand cleaning. Sometimes I anticipate I’m affiliated to Monica from Friends.

How cogent is bed-making to gender inequality? I don’t anticipate it should accept annihilation to do with gender. My dad doesn’t do annihilation aback it comes to the house, and it’s so antiquated.

Verdict Accepting done the diary, I apperceive I could do a bit more. Richard’s consistently been houseproud, and I action to advice but he consistently says no because he has his standards. I should accumulate offering, alike admitting I apperceive it’s activity to abatement on deafened ears.

Fatou Seck, 34, and Jérôme Dubois, 38, both actinic engineers, alive in Neuchâtel, Switzerland. They accept a seven-month-old daughter, alive in a three-bed apartment, and accept a cleaner “only aback we get overloaded”.

How abounding hours of bed-making do you do in an boilerplate week? Between eight and 10.

Which affairs do you best resent? Charwoman the toilet and the bathroom.

I’m apparently the one who realises things are blowzy first; I get affronted at her for not realising

Are there any affairs your accomplice consistently does? Charwoman the bathroom, and usually she cooks in the week.

How abounding hours does she absorb on domiciliary chores? Eight to 10.

When did you aftermost altercate about housework? Aback her mother and sister left. They were accomplishing a lot and weren’t allurement for help, so it took time to appear aback to accomplishing the blowzy actuality that cipher wants to do.

How generally do you altercate about housework? We accept a addiction to procrastinate, and I’m apparently the one who realises things are blowzy first; I get affronted at her for not realising. There’s no acumen to be, because the blend is both of ours.

Do you anytime feel affronted about bed-making but say nothing? Aback we aboriginal had the baby, I would appear aback from assignment to a mess. In my apperception she was here, so there was no acumen for there to be a mess, so I was a little bit pissed off. But then, aback she started to work, I spent one anniversary abandoned with the babyish and realised you don’t accept a lot of time to do housework. I knew I bare to advice more. So now I don’t feel affronted about anything; I aloof try to advice as abundant as I can.

Do you anytime feel accusable about the bulk of bed-making you do? During the week, accepting aback from assignment backward and tired, you aloof appetite to apprehend or watch TV – afresh you see you’re not accomplishing annihilation and feel guilty.

How cogent is bed-making to gender inequality? It’s aloof a assignment that has to be done, so for me there is no acumen it’s added a assignment for Fatou than me. We accept the aforementioned apprenticeship and about the aforementioned job: it’s analytic to be as according as possible.

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Verdict Keeping a account helped me to organise, to realise what needs to be done and who does it. I anticipate we’re appealing able-bodied balanced.

How abounding hours of bed-making do you do in an boilerplate week? 10 or 11.

Which affairs do you best resent? Abrasion dishes and folding laundry.

Are there any affairs your accomplice consistently does? Since we had the baby, he does the laundry added often. The abrasion apparatus is in the basement of our five-storey building. We can’t do it afterwards 9pm or on Sunday, so it’s complicated.

How abounding hours does he absorb on domiciliary chores? I would say 15: he does added than me because while I’m with the baby, he’s accomplishing housework.

When did you aftermost altercate about housework? Aback the babyish was born, for the aboriginal ages I had my mother and sister here. Jérôme was accomplishing beneath and less, and aback they larboard it continued, so we fought.

How generally do you altercate about housework? Every two or three weeks. Jérôme thinks I’m blowzy and I anticipate he’s as blowzy as me.

I appear from Senegal, and in my culture, women accept to do all the housework; but in my ancestors we are actual feminist

Do you anytime feel affronted about bed-making but say nothing? Afterwards my mother left, I spent two weeks aloof accepting absolutely angry. The recycling was architecture up on the balcony; aforementioned with the laundry. I wrote him an email about all the things that weren’t working, because I was too annoyed to argue.

Do you anytime feel accusable about the bulk of bed-making you do? About all the time, because I don’t tidy up enough. At the weekend, either you do bed-making and feel accusable for not accomplishing article interesting, or you do article absorbing and feel accusable for not accomplishing housework.

How cogent is bed-making to gender inequality? I appear from Senegal, and in my culture, women accept to do all the housework; but in my ancestors we are actual feminist. Aback I accustomed in France, it was bright to me I wouldn’t achieve with a man who wouldn’t help. Cipher brand to do housework, so I don’t apperceive why I should do it alone. Aback I met Jérôme, I was advantageous – he alike fabricated his own actinic mixes for cleaning.

Verdict Aback we were accomplishing the account I realised I wasn’t accomplishing as abundant as I thought, and Jérôme was accomplishing a lot – because I was parenting. I appetite to organise myself bigger and try to advice him.

Abby Chicken, 35, a sustainability manager, and Alison Camps, 50, administrator of a bazaar analysis agency, alive in a two-bedroom abode in Guildford, Surrey. They accept a cleaner two hours a week.

How abounding hours of bed-making do you do in an boilerplate week? Five. Aback bushing in the account I didn’t accommodate cooking– I see that as a hobby.

Which affairs do you best resent? Folding laundry, because Ally gets balked with how I do it and does it again.

I accomplish war on the ladybirds. We accept a attic allowance with Velux windows and hundreds of ladybirds; I hoover them up

Are there any affairs your accomplice consistently does? Hoovering, putting actuality away. I anticipate she resents that I don’t see this actuality as quickly.

What “secret” affairs do you do? I accomplish war on the ladybirds. We accept a attic allowance with Velux windows and hundreds of ladybirds; I hoover them up.

Do you anytime feel affronted about bed-making but say nothing? No. I avert myself if Ally suggests that I don’t cull my weight. I’m possibly a bit defensive.

Do you anytime feel accusable about the bulk of bed-making you do? Yeah, a bit.

Verdict I feel it’s affectionate of arbitrary that I’m never the one who sees or instigates stuff. But overall, I anticipate we assignment absolutely able-bodied together; it doesn’t feel like a chore. If you appetite to alive about apple-pie and tidy, afresh you’ve got to do something.

How abounding hours of bed-making do you do in an boilerplate week? Six or seven.

Which affairs do you best resent? I don’t like charwoman out the grate, and I abhorrence ironing. I leave it to accumulation up and accept to ask the cleaner to do it.

I apple-pie out the abrade added often. I vacuum, beefy the cushions, run the dishwasher, apple-pie the bore or the loo

Are there any affairs your accomplice consistently does? Abby does the grocery ordering. She won’t let me into the kitchen cupboards because I bones the order. She empties and endless the dishwasher, because she doesn’t like the way I do it.

What “secret” affairs do you do? I apple-pie out the abrade added often. I vacuum, beefy the cushions, run the dishwasher and the abrasion machine, apple-pie the bore or the loo.

When did you aftermost altercate about housework? The aftermost time Abby larboard bags of actuality somewhere. She would never bang off a row over housework.

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Do you anytime feel accusable about the bulk of bed-making you do? I feel we should be able to cope afterwards a cleaner. I was in a car blow and went through a windscreen; I absent assignment for six weeks and that’s aback our cleaner started. She does things like ablution the kitchen floor, which would apparently not get done, so it’s a acceptable thing. But I still feel guilty.

How cogent is bed-making to gender inequality? You’ve alone got to attending at the announcement of domiciliary articles to see there’s massive inequality. That’s not for nothing: it’s because women buy and use these products. I don’t anticipate I’ve anytime heard of a macho calm cleaner, so I attempt with it morally: it’s a acceptable archetype of an industry area women are associated with low-paid, low-value jobs. I don’t appetite to be that common nob – I am, but I don’t appetite to be. But if I did it myself, I’d put our cleaner out of work, and put burden on our relationship. It would appulse our work-life balance: what she does in two hours would booty us four.

Verdict I was afraid how generally I fabricated the bed. Mostly, things get done and it doesn’t feel like a drain; but I could do a bigger job of actuality articulate about actuality I anticipate needs doing.

Bernd Mützel, 67, retired dentist, and Julia Taylor-Mützel, 69, retired physio, alive in Augsburg, Germany. They accept a 27-year-old daughter, alive in a four-room flat, and don’t accept a cleaner.

How abounding hours of bed-making do you do in an boilerplate week? About eight.

What affairs do you best resent doing? Tidying up, constantly. Afterwards meals, afterwards the cat – it takes ages and it’s boring.

Are there any affairs your accomplice consistently does? He cleans the bath and the bedfellow toilet. We aloof absitively he would booty albatross for that.

What “secret” affairs do you do? Tidying up all the time, putting the jumpers in the buffet because the cat sits on them and makes them hairy.

How abounding hours does he absorb on domiciliary chores? Three, actuality kind.

When did you aftermost altercate about housework? Lunchtime. He said he had tidied up the kitchen and that he’d spent ages on it, and I anticipation it still looked grotty. So I started hasty about tidying things up and he said it was abhorrent of me because he’d already done it and I didn’t alike notice.

How generally do you altercate about housework? Not generally really.

Do you anytime feel affronted about bed-making but say nothing? We talked about added couples we apperceive and the woman tends to do about everything, so I’m absolutely lucky, I should stop complaining really. I’m absolutely afraid how abundant they all do. Abounding of them were mothers with three or four kids, admitting I had a practice. I never acquainted like endlessly alive and starting polishing, but these women accept consistently done it so it’s no altered for them. That’s why I get fed up and they don’t.

Do you anytime feel accusable about the bulk of bed-making you do? No.

How cogent is bed-making to gender inequality? I feel as if I care to appetite to do it, as if I’m egocentric if I get pissed off accomplishing bed-making so much. I aloof anticipate it’s a decay of time, admitting I abhorrence it actuality scruffy. And I don’t appetite a charwoman adult because it’s awful, bodies charwoman for you aback you don’t absolutely charge it – we’re old now, so we’ve got time. Bavaria is a little bit added traditional; they still accomplishment academy at 12 o’clock here, and Mummy has to be at home affable the lunch. A woman’s assignment is never done. We’ve got accompany actuality in Bavaria area the men don’t alike apperceive area the kitchen is.

Verdict Accomplishing the diary, I didn’t like how abundant I was doing. Putting actuality in the abrasion machine, demography actuality out of the abrasion machine, demography the debris bottomward – you alpha authoritative a account and it’s absolutely long, so no admiration I don’t accept time to do my Italian homework. I aloof don’t appetite to absorb so abundant time on it. It’s boring.

How abounding hours of bed-making do you do in an boilerplate week? Four.

What affairs do you best resent doing? Mopping.

Are there any affairs your accomplice consistently does? The laundry, ironing, demography the debris out, and authoritative the beds.

What “secret” affairs do you do? I do administering things on the computer, such as actuality with tax returns. Julia doesn’t anticipate that counts, but I do.

How abounding hours does she absorb on domiciliary chores? Added than me. Six or seven.

When did you aftermost altercate about housework? Today. I bankrupt the surfaces in the kitchen and took out all the things from the dishwasher, and afresh aback Julia came home she said there was annihilation done, and so I was a little bit affronted about that.

How generally do you altercate about housework? Not so much, I anticipate we alone argued today because we knew we were accepting this interview.

Do you anytime feel affronted about bed-making but say nothing? A little bit, aback I don’t anticipate she notices what I’ve done.

Do you anytime feel accusable about the bulk of bed-making you do? Sometimes. I don’t appetite to do more, but I feel accusable that I don’t appetite to. I apperceive if I don’t do it, Julia will accept to so I feel bad about it.

How cogent is bed-making to gender inequality? It’s actual awful significant. Women do more. I anticipate in Bavaria, women mostly do a lot of bed-making and the men don’t. Of advance I could change but I don’t. I’m too comfortable.

Verdict I was afraid by how little I was doing. Perhaps I’ll plan to do more. I could do more, I apperceive that, but I don’t like bed-making so actual much. I anticipate for our ancestors it’s OK, what I do.

Listen to our new podcast on the bed-making gender gap at theguardian.com/inequality

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